Seherezada

I’ve always had a weakness for the written word, especially for honest thoughts put it down on a paper, feelings explained so that you realized that you are not the only person ‘’which has happened that’’ a gesture so pathetic so you can realize that ‘’if you were into a movie you were playing the clown who evokes laughter, sorrow and the criticism of the audience’’.

I always represent the main actress of the movie ... that until I came here in a big city where I started to go to university and try to somehow find my purpose in life ... still trying to work it touching.

To understand the exact feelings that have tried me as I watched  my parents left their home and leaving me  here I have to present a brief summary of my life.

Until the age of eighteen when I got here, the big city I was telling you about, I lived in a small quiet town were my only friends were a few colleague of my class, and my only ’’ going out’’ were the 50 meters I had to make to get to my grandparents, and after that the eighteen birthday parties where I was invited by my colleagues. I could have summarized everything in a few words: I had no social life. Why?-it may sound untrue but I’ve a sort of fear for people-I might say that

I don’t know exactly how to make a conversation, to  have a normal dialog without making a fool of myself.As I arrived here I can say I’ve lived  more in a year, than I’ve  lived in eighteen years  in my hometown-it weren’t happy feelings…weren’t disastrous  events…were just things that have made me to know my own limits and my true personality-in a way I did it…but not completely.
The first people which whom I’ve spoken to  were my room colleague…and we weren’t ok…maybe because of me, maybe because of them - maybe because I wasn’t used to confront different  views, or  I didn’t knew how to sustain my point of view- but especially because I was forced to live with persons who just like me they didn’t knew how to listen, or how to make compromise-or they just didn’t understand that you don’t have sex when another person is knocking desperately at the door because she’s hungry or cold.

The first conclusion after one year away from my parents, my sister, and all the things I knew: you don’t have a strong character, you are not a girl that makes the boys go crazy…you are just a child brought here to grow up…but what it means to be an adult?
It means to be more indulgent…I am asking you: what it means to grow up and how it must be done correct?
Judge, criticize ... especially advised…. above lines are thoughts sincere but not meant to advise the reader ... but to seek advice from you ladies ... and how much I need them.